Rated short reviews of the types of films that can range from mildly entertaining to needing to bathe with a car wash high-pressure hose after watching.
Entertainment Value -- This will be a simple 0 through 5 rating system. Zero would, of course, mean you should walk past it like a drunk vomiting on the sidewalk, and a five would indicated you couldn't ask for anything better for an evening's viewing.
Crap value -- This rating goes from -5 though 5. -5 would mean the film is something I wouldn't let my dog sniff, and a 5 would be a classic of crap cinema. A zero would be something you might watch with your parents, meaning it is neither crap nor shit. There is a difference.
Monetary value -- This is rated at a 0 to 5. Zero would mean you should toss it away from you in utter disgust even if someone paid you to take it, and a 5 would be something worth running over your grandmother and her walker to purchase.
All ratings are utterly subjective, so, please, don't hold me responsible. Keep in mind there are these things called "video rental outlets", so you should always test my theories before plunking down your cash and/or wasting your time.
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